What Is The Secret To Making Friends?
The secret to making friends is to be BRAVE and be BOLD
Perhaps your child is homeschooled at the moment or are you planning to become a homeschool parent /Tutor for your kids in the future or maybe you have moved to a new town and you and your kids don’t know anyone?
Regardless of which fits your circumstances, we can agree that it is important for our kids to have a friend that is special to us that can be a Best friend aka BFF (best friend forever).
It’s also nice to find a group of friends that have the same interests and values that we share.
Asking Some Hard Questions
First, you need to sit yourself down and ask yourself and your kids a few important questions!
- Describe the type of person you think you are?… Are you friendly, shy, adventurous, studious, or sporty?
- Do you think you would make a great friend to someone?… Are you thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and friendly?
- What type of person do you want to have as a friend?… someone funny, athletic, loves animals. rides BMX,
- Is it important to you to have lots of friends or just a few close friends?…
- Are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend?…
Once you have answered these 5 questions it will give you clues about the personality type that you are looking for as a friend. It will also give clues about where to find your friends and how to actually make friends.
Making friends takes time and effort to develop. The more time that you spend with someone and get to know each other will ultimately decide the type of friendship you will have with someone. There are 3 usual types of friendships
- Acquaintance- This is the ” Hello & Goodbye friend”. Someone that you only see occasionally but don’t generally hang out with.
- Social group friend – This friend you may see regularly and enjoy their company but may not share deep trust with. We can have lots of these types of friends.
- BFF – Best friend forever – This friend is someone who you feel a deep connection with. You will share secrets and have trust and respect for each other. You will both feel that you will be friends forever. These friends are rare and you may only have 1 or 2 in your entire life. But no matter what you do or where life takes you this friend will always be your friend.
How To Find Friends When You’re Home-Schooled?
Be Brave and Be Bold
The thing about making friends is that it takes a lot of bravery. This means that it takes a brave person to overcome their fear to do something.
That act of bravery could be walking up to a stranger and introducing yourself or perhaps joining a sporting club for the first time. Whatever it is, the first time is always the hardest and you may feel a little nervous or anxious.
Meeting a person for the first time – Things to remember.
Remember that the person you meet for the first time may just be as nervous as you are.
Try these few hints on making friends:
- Introduce yourself ( say your name)
- Listen for the other person’s name and repeat their name back to them ( ” Nice to meet you, Sam’)
- Ask the other person open-ended questions – what is your name, where do you live, what things do you like to do on weekends?
- Avoid YES or NO questions.
- Find common interests in the questions you are asking
- Be a good listener – try not to talk too much about yourself
- Give a nice compliment to the person, make them feel important – I like the shoes you wear, your skateboard is cool, you are great at that!
- Ask if they will be at this same meeting place again tomorrow / next week etc
- Perhaps share details of a contact number or social media account to continue talking with each other
- Plan to meet up again and perhaps invite them to your home and introduce them to your family.
Remember when making friends its more about Quality not Quantity
Where Can I Find Friends When I am Homeschooled?
We live on a planet full of billions of people. They are everywhere, however, making friends seems really scary to most kids especially if you don’t go to school.
You can start by trying to find a friend at places that are interesting to you. Some examples of this would be:
- If you like books and reading – visit the library
- If you like swimming go to the local pool or join a swim club or surf club
- If you live in a remote area, join an online group or find a pen pal/mail mate
- Visit museums, art galleries, and places where lots of others gather.
- Love sports – go to watch games or join a local club and become a team member
Or you can be really BOLD and BRAVE and join a club or do an activity that you have never done before. This will broaden your search for a compatible friend and also give you a new and hopefully wonderful experience or memory.
When we meet someone for the first time it’s a good idea to be bold and show confidence in who we are. Be your authentic normal self and don’t try to pretend to be someone you are not because you want to find someone who is nice and shares the same values that you do. You want them to be accepting of who you are as you will be accepting of who they are. This then becomes the beginning of a true friendship, not a friendship based on something that is a lie or not real
Be open in your heart about trusting and having faith in the goodness of others. However, trust your gut instincts when meeting a stranger for the first time. If you get a nice happy feeling about someone you may want to explore and find out more about that person. If you are unsure or get an uneasy feeling perhaps they might not be the right person for you.
It’s also a good idea to have friends that are of similar age to you. And remember that it’s important to always tell your parents who you are meeting up with and where you are going, just to keep you safe when you are first getting to know someone.
Last but not least – Some resources that may help the homeschool Tutor/Parent
A really insightful book that I read many years ago was ” How to make friends and influence people “. I suggest if you can get a copy of this it’s worth the read.
Another great resource for Teenagers is the ” Reach Out Forums” which is an online group. They can join and hook up with like-minded Teens aged 14+. They can also attend free community events and do other activities. Well worth looking into !!
Related: Are Homeschooled Kids Socially Awkward?
With love and kindness
Ursula x
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How to Homeschool – The Good the Bad and the Ugly Realities of Doing it Successfully
This is the book I wrote to my younger self about doing it successfully. Take it from someone who has been there.
It is everything I have learned from my 18 years as a full-time educator, mum, and housewife.
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About The Author
My name is Ursula Boston. I’ve been educating my daughters as a proud homeschool mum for nearly 20 years. Alongside managing our household and small business from home.
If you want to learn how to do this from someone who has actually done it. Twice! I will show you HOW.
